Hey! I Was Reading That!

I try really hard not to talk about religion for the respect of other people’s point of view but every once in a great while a heretical fundamentalist comes along and pisses in my wheaties.

So I’ll just jump into the fire and brimstone. The picture of that suave, sophisticated man here is Pastor Mark Grizzard of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church of Canton, North Carolina, a suburb of Raleigh, and fourteen of his followers will be holding a old fashioned book burning on Halloween night; my, how festive these church goers are these days. So if anyone hasn’t heard by now, here’s a snippet of authors and books they plan to burn on this fortuitous night:

Billy Graham, Bruce Metzger, Westcott and Hort, Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, John McArthur, James Dobson, Charles Swindoll, John Piper, Chuck Colson, Tony Evans, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swaggart, Mark Driskol, Franklin Graham, Bill Bright, Tim LaHaye, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn, Joyce Myers, Brian McLaren, Lauren Schuller, Rob Bell, Erwin McManus, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning, William Young, Mother Theresa and the Pope, himself, to name a few.

Also several different versions of the Bible will be burned, as they feel they are the works of the beelzebub, they have listed, but I’m sure have not limited to, the New International Version, the Revised Standard Version, the New King James Version, The Living Bible, the New American Standard Bible, the New English Bible, the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, the American Standardized Version of the Bible, the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures, The Evidence Bible, The Message Bible, the Green Bible, and the Good News for Modern Man are among the kindling they are choosing to use. If someone takes pictures I really hope some young children are dumb enough to roast weenies and marshmallows while the books burn. Hey, they’re cocky enough to also say they are serving barbecue (spelled bar-b-que) chicken, fried chicken, and all the sides, so it’s a regular book burnin’ southern barbecue picnic under the sky!

And also, the ever popular burning of music, and I quote, “We will also be burning Satan's music such as country , rap , rock , pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel , contempory [sic] Christian , jazz, soul, oldies but goldies, etc.” See, I love the excetera put at the end of their statements, which they also have at the end of their bible and authors’ lists just so they can do on site determination. What’s fundalmentalists without doing things on the spur of the moment? However, they also had a statement to kind of do a CYA: “We are not burning Bibles written in other languages that are based on the TR. (True word, a.k.a. The King James Version, for those of you keeping score.) We are not burning the Wycliff, Tyndale, Geneva, or other translations that are based on the TR.” Gee, thanks for the clarification, folks. And lets go as far as to say they believe that all people who read and follow these texts are also heretical? I actually just guessing here, but I’m sure they’ll be burning Torahs, Korans, Books of Mormon, and other selected apocrypha not mentioned on their website. I am not the greatest theologian in the world but I think it’s safe to say that these Bible thumpers are not only not on the same page, they aren’t in the same book, street, city, zip code, state, nation or planet as I! Now, probably, the noted people who may have been informed, such as the Reverend Billy Graham, because this is happening in his home state of North Carolina, will just ignore the ignorance publicly, and they’ll have their book burning and barbecue cook out and then it’ll pass and be forgotten. By my mere mentioning in my blog about this mean I too am giving the ignorant too much press, and that’s the idea. They want the outrage, they want the attention, and they want the publicity, the whores that they are setting themselves up into being and nothing else. Do not take freedom of choice away because it is one of the principals that this country was founded on, look it up in the library after your done burning these books. You choose to be fanatical, we choose to tune up the paddy wagon for you, but then again, there’s a much more deeper and darker thought that comes to my mind as they are burning all these religious works.

Preacher Grizzard, you and your flock, when needlessly burning these texts of theological insight, reason, and inspiration will force you to overlook this one basic problem with your actions. Because they can be viewed by others as the word of the Almighty, or extensions they’re of or inspirations from it, you all in turn will be turning yourselves into extensions of the deeds of darkness. Yeah guys, in hindsight, your beliefs are actually doing satan’s work. However, what do I know, I am not a Theologian, therefore do not have a professional opinion on what’s going on. I just have my own opinion from what I see around me and put them down to print.

And by the way, I’m sure my barbecue ribs are much better!


H.R. Green, 23rd of October, 2009, 11:54 a.m. Burtchville, MI