B.A. (Bloodsuckers Annonymous)

Good evening, I hope everyone is well who receives this missive.


My name is unimportant as to what I wish to speak about tonight and quite frankly I really don't care as this is more a letter of enlightenment or warning. You see there are parts of what you all call entertainment in these modern nights that concern me. What I have found in the past is what you see on your medium desensitizes that masses and fills their brain with false feelings, such as a morbid type of hope. I wish to quash these feelings, not because I want to, and believe me this stuff has helped me yet hurt me greatly, no, because I deem it necessary. I am speaking, of course, on the legendary creatrue; the vampyre.

Now to those who know folklore well, vampyres are beings that are not to be trifled with and not to be lampooned. They were and are created to be predators of the night; they are the boogymen that keep you asleep at night and the monsters who prey on the innocent.

With that being said, let me tell you what they are not. Thanks to entertainment, and you all call it that, being in your mainstream like the Twilight movies and the "True Blood" and "Vampire Diaries" television shows, apparently you all think these creatures can be turned into the male model, Fabio. Plus they don't turn into Angel either...they don't have souls, period! If they show that they care it's because there's something in it for them, like a mobster, only one that cannot easily be killed. Vampyres do not look like Robert Pattinson so get over it. They may have possible better personalities than that actor, but, they are personalities that will kill you.

They also don't decide that one night they'll try to be more human. It is not in their D.N.A. So when you come across one, if you know it's one, don't draw attention to it because it's not a stuffed teddy bear. Hell, I've seen a commercial lately about a couple, the man being a vampyre and the woman his mortal plaything. Something makes me think that some entertainment executives are either vampyres or are controlled by them. Either way, it isn't alright to be messing with them.

They are the boogymen, the monsters; they are not nice and they will kill you and they most definately can act better than Robert Pattinson.

With regards,

Vlad.

Yeah, decided to have a little fun with this rant, making it a fictional letter to the masses by a real vampire, but still, I hate Twilight, "True Blood" and "Vampire Diaries," even as much as the touchy feely loving vampire that's en vogue. Kinda makes me wish that vampires did exist to teach these teeny bopper girls a lesson from their ignoramous chick lit. But then again, that's being really mean.

H.R. Green, 12th of November, 2009, 10:04 p.m. Burtchville, MI