Not My Normal Sunday Blog Post: An Experiment in Self Service? (or) A Possible Contest?

It's been four years or so since I finished writing a book.  Apparently that's been long enough for dust to collect on said book when I pulled it off the shelf to look at it again to analyze a few things.


First, I was looking for my "gratuitous"  Zelazny moment in writing this novel and each of my three novels has one of these moments.  To elaborate, what I call a "Zelazny" moment is when a paragraph takes a full page or more to end.  If anyone has read  Nine Princes of Amber or any other of the five books that make up the Amber Chronicles you would notice right away that the main protagonist, Corwin, tends to ramble.  And I don't me ramble as to over elaborate on simplicity, rather, this man loved to hear himself speak.  Paragraphs tend to take, not one, not two, nor three, but up to five pages of text before the bloody paragraph was over.  After a while, usually when I would go back to reading the book again, I would just pass by these speeches to one's self by saying, "Words...ah, words....ah, words...words...more words..." until it was over.  With my three novels, I am guilty of it every time.  Granted, thank the fates, not nearly as bad as five pages.


So I found it in Daemon starting on page 58 and ending on page 60.  Normally I would mark that area with a book mark, but somehow the one on this one vanished.  In Shifter the offense is on page 73 to page 74, and that one began a frakking chapter.  And finally, in the train wreck that is Machete Mauler it begins on page 104 and ends on page 106.  I'm sure that one is really one big writing mistake since it is my first novel and a huge headache on many levels.  All the more reason why I wished it can stay in the shadows, but probably never will.  Here's why:


Back in 2005 I created my first self published book entitled Listen Like Fiends.  It was a collection of short stories that spanned over twenty years.  Also it contained that previously mentioned first novel.  (Shudders)  However I have been entertaining the idea on doing a redo on the collection without having that novel in it.  I've written a few short stories and a novelette since then, however there's a slight problem.  Well, make that problems.


Number one:  I paid nearly a grand to get it published, but with that grand came an ISBN number, a copywrite date and a LoC number plus the ability to sell it on Ingram books.  The company I went with weren't entirely truthful with their claims, as the local Barnes & Noble story was happy to point out to me a period after my self publishing, but I'm pretty sure at the time I had more going for me that most.  Yeah, sure, lets go with that.


Secondly: The company I went with constantly calls me up with "unbelievable offers!" for my book's exposure if I pay a nominal fee.  I paid a grand.  With me that's about as nominal as you are going to get with me.  Also, the telemarketers who call me up always have a problem with pronouncing the word "Fiends."  They believe it reads "Friends."  Now I have tried in correcting them and even asking them to spell the last word in the title.  Once they do I then ask them to pronounce it, which they do incorrectly.  Now, whenever I make the mistake in answering their phone call, if they mispronounce the word, and they ALWAYS do, I just say, "I'm sorry, you mispronounced the title again, au revior."  And hang up.  Yeah, I'm being a dick, but if they wanted my money so bad you'd think they'd use communication to fix the problem.  ::Sigh::


And third: Lulu.com, the website I currently have my works located is where I plan to put this collection, there's only one problem.  Under Listen Like Fiends it wasn't published for the public yet.  I can only blame my own procrastination here.  And since I took too long the files were permanently retired.


So, I have a preexisting book that I don't want to go away because it has all the official stuff on it, but, I feel the need to update it.  Here's where y'all come into play.  I need a title and a kick ass cool picture.  Usually just the title will do and I can find a picture that best fits it, but I'm gonna keep it open until the end of summer (Labor Day).  The one who can think of the best title will win a prize.  Now right now I have only thought of a first prize, not second or third, so as of right now don't expect it.  The one who can think of a title for me will receive the following:


The new compilation in special edition form (This will be with extra stories and ... ahem... poems) in case wrapped hard cover along with Daemon and Shifter in their special edition case wrapped hard covered form.  All the winner has to do is provide me with a current mailing address and i'll do the rest.  I'm not going to rely on another companies snail mail.  If it fucks up, I want it to be entirely my fault and cut out the middle man and possible name blaming.  And for the first novel?  If the winner want a copy of that I guess I'll get that too, if you really are a masochist.


Please send your entries to my twitter account only @daemondelall.  Not email through lulu.com or if you find something else somewhere else.  The only way this is going to work is through my twitter.


We now return you to your regularly scheduled program -


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Just Remember, It's All in Good Fun

So these past couple of days while I edit my first chapter of my new book and slugging through the internet (I don't surf.  I tend to fight through instead.) I came across this nice little documentary in hulu.com.


I'm a child of the eighties so I tend to regress back to that preteen and teenager of that time to stuff I liked a lot.  Usually that became cartoons.  Now I wasn't much of a comic book geek, though lord knows I tried.  For that stuff, in the end, it turned out to be The Sandman and Heavy Metal magazine (Yes I was able to buy them before I turned 18, go me.) and I had those collectable cards with the Marvel and D.C. characters to keep track of past history; kind of a colorful yet expensive version of Cliff notes.  But I ate up the cartoons.  And the older I got going into the nineties the older the subject matter the cartoons seemed to get.  Actually I think it got that way the more jaded my mind would become.  Tiny toons and Animanics became the pinnacle of this double entendre thinking before I gave up and conformed into the workforce.


In the middle of that there were these messed up colored pencil drawn short film cartoons called "Plymptoons."  I remember them physically wrong but too funny to ignore.  My parents tend to be in the living room the same time these shorts came on, mainly because we saw the ones being played on "TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes" but I remember the SNL ones too, and they dismissed them as nothing, mainly because they were cartoons.  I loved the "Argument" segments.  Every one of these films you just cannot help but laugh at them.  I also saw all the MTV ones, especially Liquid Television.


Now, 360 here, this documentary about the "Plymptoons" creator Bill Plympton and how the toons came to fruition, so to speak.  I give props to the lady who headed this documentary, she got Terry Gilliam to help do an intro for the movie and many other famous faces.  However, and I don't spoil it too much, but, The Hedgehog!  Oh, no no no. 


Just goes to show you cannot please everyone, not even me.  But, Ron Jeremy aside, I would definitely suggest this on your documentary's list of must view or even if you're a fan of cartoons/animation please view it.


http://www.hulu.com/watch/411924


Alexia Anastasio, @alexiaanastasio, directed and produced it.  Also, here's her website http://www.alexiaanastasio.com/ to check out what else in film she has done or is doing now.


A good retreat from the regular B.S. of real life you aren't really supposed to deal with on the weekends.


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